Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson Break-up, Restraining Orders and Changing Locks Follow…

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have finally called their tumultuous relationship quits, according to the twenty-two year old actress, who claims the DJ cheated on her. Shortly after the break-up, Ronson held a family function at the Chateau Marmont, and spared no expense in ensuring her ex-girlfriend would arrive to a surprise. And, I imagine Lindsay was, at least in part, surprised when she showed up at the hotel to attend Sam’s function only to discover extra security had been hired for the express purpose of keeping her out. Lohan did not take the news in good spirits, rather, she rushed to her Blackberry and “twittered” at Sam, calling her a “cheater”.

Ronson responded the following day by changing the locks on the home the couple shared in Hollywood Hills, and was making noises about getting a restraining order put out against her former lover, Lohan. Shortly after the news of the DJ seeking a restraining order hit the media, however, Ronson rushed to explain that there would be no such order, and that this portion of the incident was misunderstood. (I think it’s more likely that Samantha Ronson sought the order, and found herself being laughed out of court by the judge. “Wait, you want me to issue a restraining order against Lohan because you fear she’s going to sneak in and what? Perform cunninglus upon you without your  knowledge? Well, I’m not issuing any such order, namely because I want to park outside your house now and watch, it’s ridiculous. Lindsay weighs what? T hree whole pounds now? You can take her!!!” )

Ronson and Lohan before Sam changed all the locks and had security wrestle Lindsay away from the family function. AKA: The time before Ronson figured she'd gotten enough publicity out of Lohan to start charging 30K a night to DJ.

Ronson and Lohan before Sam changed all the locks and had security wrestle Lindsay away from the family function. AKA: The time before Ronson figured she'd gotten enough publicity out of Lohan to start charging 30K a night to DJ.

Lohan, however, is failing to realize Ronson never loved her fire crotch, rather, only loved what the fire crotch could do for her career, take the break-up well, and reports feeling abandonned by all of her friends. She states:  “(I feel) so alone. Everyone’s turned on me. I’m a f**king 22-year-old girl who’s in love. I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie. I’m just really hurt! The whole situation is sick.” 

It’s quite clear that Ronson used Lindsay for her name in an effort, (which was sadly successful) at boosting her own name and thus career. Frankly, I think it’s rather a poor reflection upon society that we lap this shit up, and, in doing so, allow people like Ronson to use someone who, for all intents and purposes, is really just a kid herself. Granted, this may have been puppy love for Lindsay, but one has to bear in mind that puppy love is still real to the puppy. Lohan even went as far as to deny rumours of the break-up were true, instead saying that Sam and her had opted to take a break to allow her (Lohan) a chance to work on herself.

In my humble opinion, when someone goes to the trouble of beefing up security to keep you out of a family function, and then following that, changes the locks on the home you both shared, it’s NOT, I repeat NOT a “break” they are looking for. Rather, they are looking for complete and utter freedom from ever having to look upon your crotch of fire visage again.

Now as the trouble bubble begins to form, Ronson starts to point her scary lesbian fist in Lindsay's direction...RUN LINDSAY!!! RU-UUUU-UUUUN!!

Now as the trouble bubble begins to form, Ronson starts to point her scary lesbian fist in Lindsay's direction...RUN LINDSAY!!! RU-UUUU-UUUUN!!

As far as her so-called “friends” go, let’s face it, no true friend would ever abandon you in a time of need like this. Lindsay, honey, it’s time for you to drop the hangers on and the wannabe’s and get yourself a real, true blue, group of friends who like you for you and wouldn’t let that change for anything. Friends that you will see through tough times, and, in turns, friends who will hold you when you’re crying, and feel your pain when  you’re hurting. Friends who will love you until you can truly get to know and love yourself.

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~ by double2dee on April 9, 2009.

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