When Good Sarcasm goes bad…

To all my readers:

I would like to apologize for my decided lack of posts for the past month and a bit. Unfortunately, something I am not permitted to speak about at this time occurred, necessitating that an individual higher up in the food chain moderate and implement fair ruling. That has now occurred, with the result being my return to the treatment center, and as such, all of my lovely readers. Again, my sincerest apologies for my lack of posts. We shall get back to discussing how horrid Vagina Lips  Erm…Vanessa Paradis is shortly.

In the meantime, a brief update on Crazy Spice is required. I have ascertained information from a reliable source (also known as “my eyeballs”) that Crazy Spice is now trolling the Christian Dating Sites looking for a man. *Shudders* I must tell you all now that although perhaps Crazy Spice is able to pass for Less Crazy Spice on the internet, I simply cannot conceive of her ability to be anyone but the fucking certifiable self-centered whimpering victim that she is, in person. As such, I am feeling a great deal of fright for all men currently looking for love via the Christian Internet Dating Sites, and feel the need to warn them to steer clear of any woman claiming to “be going through a lot”, “be fighting spiritual battles” or “be a wounded woman currently working on healing those wounds inflicted upon her by life.”  None of these statements are what they seem, and, in fact, all say precisely the same thing: “I am a victim. I will always be a victim. As a victim, everything that happens to me is the fault of someone else, which also means I’m helpless to stop or control my victimization. As such, I am looking for a man who will ride up on his gallant steed and save me once and for all. I promise to be extremely demanding and clingy, and will cry on a dime should you ever threaten to so much as urinate without taking me along. Also, I will fall in love with you after the first two minutes of meeting you, and will then hassle the living shit out of   you, and stalk you, proclaiming my love and not understanding why on earth you would want to call the police on me.”  Be afraid, fellas, be very afraid.

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~ by double2dee on March 28, 2009.

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