Moments Wherein I want to Leap into Pete Burn’s head and Borrow his Amazing Pulsating Brain of Biting and Witty Sarcastic Responses for Every Occasion

Pete Burns is my hero…and not just because the man has a voice that I’m sure once belonged to some Mythical Siren. (no, you imbeciles, not a siren as in what is on top of a cop car, rather a Siren as in the singers that supposedly sang so beautifully they could lure men to jump overboard enmasse just to get closer to them, and their beautiful music) Pete Burns is also, and really more so, my hero because he speaks his mind even when his is not a popular, nor socially acceptable opinion. He does, however, often speak the hard, cold truth, and, due to his appearance, people have a difficult time accepting that he is a man with a brilliant mind that is precisely who he wants to be. In these ways, Pete Burns is really something of a mentor to me. Particularly at the moment.

My Hero and Champion of All Things Witty And Sarcastic.

My Hero and Champion of All Things Witty And Sarcastic.

You see, the other day, I may have, thinking myself tremendously witty & caustically sarcastic innocently and with no harm intended, drawn a cartoon devil in rather large proportions upon our dry erase board, which hangs over the phone. (Betcha LADY Spice is kicking herself for installing that now…) To be honest, I really put a great deal of effort into it, and was most disappointed to find it firmly erased when I arrived home from going out with my fiance (he bought me my engagement ring!!), only to discover my fine artwork had gone the way of so much resurrected Jesus.

I was then called into a meeting regarding my freedom of speech, and religious rights, which, apparently, do not include the sketching and careful coloring of large devils with inverted cross earrings upon the dry erase board. When I inquired as to why it was acceptable to have someone attempt to both burn my retinas out of my head, and convert me into a mindless zombie addict who has replaced drugs with religion  a fundamentalist christian, who, I might add, refused to cease her out loud reading of “the word” despite my repeated requests, and voiced concerns that such action on her part was going to make me burst into flames, where drawing a happy diablo was not, I was informed I was being prejudice.

Prejudice. Bigoted. Okay, my defination of those words include judging one based upon nothing more than their appearance, denomination, sect, or organization. I did not do this. In fact, I have no problem with CRAZY Spice believing that the Lord is going to reach his enormous hand into the treatment center, stuff her pockets with money, flick a beautiful and caring husband down the hall at her, and pull all of her fears out through her belly button thereby curing her, Hallelujah!! I just have a problem with CRAZY Spice attempting to spread her CRAZY-ness by preaching, reading the bible out loud, blessing each individual bite of food she puts into her fucking mouth, and attempting to kiss the anus of anyone or anything within a three foot radius, and then bless them, too.

I feel the devil drawing was no more in one’s face than are the actions listed above. Therefore, I am not, nor was I ever, operating from a predjudical mindset. I judged her on her words, her actions, her lack of respect for the belief systems of others, and the incredible annoyance I felt each and every time she blessed a fucking pea.

I was told thus, last night, that I was going to be put on to a behavioral contract, which essentially means if I do one thing against the contract, I’m kicked out of the program. When I asked for the reasons why that might be, I was told it had to do with the following:
a) Medications: I have had to discuss my medications with staff on several occasions, primarily due to the fact that the timeline presented by the pharmacy is wrong, and, due to the fact we have a lot of staff, it took quite some time to nail down a schedule that i)worked, and that ii) everyone knew and could cope with. Because of some misunderstandings around medications, it was put out that I was “med seeking”, and this pissed me off like I can’t even tell you. Asking for medication you’ve taken for many moons at the same time you’ve always taken it, within program guidelines, of course, is not med seeking, it is med needing. When staff misunderstand or confuse the issue of times, it becomes med-informing, which occasionally has forced me into a bout of med-arguing, however now that the timeline is nicely set, it is simply medicating so I do not turn into a blubbering mass of pain at the staff’s feet.

b) Behavior problems: When I asked for an example of these so-called behavior problems, I was informed that I had apparently told a staff member to “Fuck off.” This was shocking news to me, as, unless someone else was using my lips without my knowledge, they sure as hell haven’t said that to any staff member. This issue was somewhat clarified by a staff informing me she heard me say something, as I was walking away from them, that sounded to her like “Fuck Off.” Now, when I’m frustrated enough to walk away from someone, it’s because I don’t wish to allow my temper to leap out of me and disfigure or maim them in any way. As such, often I can be heard quietly muttering something like “Oh for fuck sakes…” or “Jesus Fucking Christ,” or even “Fucking hell…here we fucking go again.” But these are things said under my breath, to myself, as I am moving away from the situation, which is a far different circumstance than saying “Fuck off” to a staff member.

c) The Outing- I had an intake at the Alcohol and Drug Counselors, which my fiance took me to and from. I stated that I would be leaving with him at 12 noon, and not returning until 4pm in our Tuesday house meeting, and was told this was fine providing I was back by dinner. The ladies then corrected that staff member, letting her know that, as I am only in my third week here, I have to be home for four in the afternoon. I then said I would also like to go out for a meeting on Thursday, again leaving at 12 noon and returning at 4pm, again with my fiance. Nothing was mentioned beyond the “be back by supper/four” thing, so I naturally assumed all was well. Apparently, I was mistaken in this assumption as LADY Spice and the other staff were not aware I had requested this as part of an outing, and were operating under the impression that I was going straight to the intake and straight home. As such, they felt that I had broken the rules, when, in fact, I had done what I believed I was supposed to do and was allowed to do.

Due to all of these items, and due to the fact that, all but for the little satanism incident, they are all very validly explainable, I explained to ASSKICKS this morning that I didn’t feel a contract was fair punishment, nor even handed administration. What is going to come out of this discussion remains to be seen. All I know is that I will not sign anything I know isn’t true, and will be sorely disappointed if this goes any further than it already has done.

I did, however, fervently wish Pete Burns was here with me during the initial meeting regarding the devil cartoon. He would have said something brilliant like “Right, it’s prejudice for her to have an opinion that Christianity and God are shite, but it’s not prejudice for CRAZY Spice to go about preaching about us all going to focking hell if we fail to fall on our faces before the Lord. How is that having respect and honor for everyone’s belief system?” PETE BURNS….WHERE ARE YOU???? WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRE????

Okay, those are my issues of the moment. I’m done now.

As you were.


~ by double2dee on February 6, 2009.

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